WILLPOWER MELTDOWN SOMETIMES

A husband of a patient whose condition had worsened due to rebleeding of a coiled aneurysm was at the hospital. I made eye contact and spoke to him. He said her wife’s condition remained unchanged—bedridden at a nursing home and unable to speak—but she recognized him. I had worsened the prognosis. That is a fact. If a more skilled surgeon had performed the operation and managed the postoperative care, the outcome might have been different. The question isn’t whether I did my best. The question is whether the patient was in the best possible condition. I mustn’t be complacent. I must take responsibility for the outcome. I should be able to do that. I’m not telling myself to do the impossible—I’m telling myself to get the best possible result from what I can do.